Memory Bugs Cyber Crop

My Buddy Diane put me on to this site, and they just happened to be having a CC this weekend, any excuse to scrap I say!
Well I had been meaning to scrap this page for a long time..................
needless to say , it was cathartic, I still cry every time I read it.........
the journalling says:

I think if Pop had have lived you would be growing into a very different boy. You connected with him in a profound way for a child, recognising much of yourself in him. He was a very intelligent man, intellectual and thoughtful. Although he never quite understood your obvious attachment to him, he was always more than happy to chat with you when you took the cordless phone, hid, and dialled Nan & Pop's number, asking for "Him". Since the tragedy that took his life when you were only four years old, you have searched for someone to fill his space. It has made my heart ache watching disappointment mar your sweet child's features time after time when you discover another person is not the one to fill his shoes. I so wish things could be different but I cannot fix this. I can only try to love you a little more to help pick up the slack, and be a little more tolerant of your behaviour by understanding where it comes from. This is your journey my darling, with all it's highs and lows. Be brave, I love you!